— course for therapists
Addressing Betrayal:
Infidelity Solutions
for Sex Therapists
A practical clinical framework for working with infidelity and betrayal in sex therapy — from understanding the betrayal cycle and its consequences, to acquiring tools to intervene in a way that is trauma-focused and strengthening of the relationship.
If you’ve ever sat with a betrayal case and not known what to do next — this course was built for that moment.
$39
One-time payment · Instant access · 30-day guarantee
REGISTER NOW
— case example
Repeated infidelity — and the question of whether to stay
She reached out to me in crisis. Her husband had been unfaithful for the fourth time — at least the fourth time she knew of — and this time he had actually left the house and was talking about ending the relationship. She was desperate, frightened, and in pain. But what she kept saying, over and over, was this: I don’t want to do what I always do. I don’t want to just go back and pretend none of it happened.
That sentence told me a lot about where she was and what she needed.
— the first thing to address
She was a capable, rational, high-functioning person — and she was flying off the handle. She couldn’t sleep, couldn’t concentrate, was cycling through highs and lows. She felt ashamed of her own reactions. My first task was to take that shame away: what you are experiencing is a normal response to trauma. Not just one traumatic event — but a re-traumatization of everything that had come before it. The way you are feeling is not a sign that something is wrong with you. It is a sign that something was done to you.
01
Getting strong — one thing to hold onto
When everything feels out of control, people need one thing to hold onto. I gave her this: focus on getting strong. You’ve taken a significant blow. Anything that gives you energy, move toward it. Anything that drains you, step back from it.
She noticed quickly that her family conversations — where she relitigated everything endlessly — left her depleted. And then she noticed something more significant: some conversations with her husband drained her too. That awareness gave her something she had never quite had before — permission to say so.
She told him one day that she didn’t want to continue a particular conversation. His response stopped her: “Oh, there you are.” He had never seen her say no before. He hadn’t known where she began and ended. Neither, in some ways, had she.
02
Stopping the protection of him
She had been hiding what was happening. Protecting him from the judgment of her family and friends. This is extremely common — and extremely costly. We worked on what that protection was doing to her: how the secrecy was isolating her, how it was preventing her from getting real support, and how it was maintaining a dynamic where his comfort came before her healing.
She stopped protecting him. She started speaking more openly about what had happened. When he came back and found out she had been talking about it, he got upset. And we worked on something important: his being upset does not mean you did something wrong. You don’t have to rescue him from his own discomfort. He can be upset. That doesn’t require you to fix it.
03
Understanding why — without taking the blame
He declined to participate in couples therapy, which meant I couldn’t do the full work of understanding the infidelity from both sides. But psychoeducation about why infidelity happens still mattered — because one of the most corrosive effects of betrayal is the belief that it happened because of something you did or failed to do.
Even if there were things missing in the relationship — and there may well have been — the contract between them included no lies, no secrets. He could have come to her and said: I need something I’m not getting. He chose not to. He broke the contract. That is his responsibility to hold, not hers.
04
When he came back — and the honeymoon phase
He came back. I noticed my own reaction — a few seconds of something that felt like frustration — and let it move through without acting on it. That’s part of the work of being a therapist. You have feelings. You notice them. You don’t let them drive.
When he returned, the relationship entered what I think of as the honeymoon phase — remorse, flowers, presence, effort. She knew the cycle. She was determined not to be fooled by it. And yet everything felt good — except that he started stopping in the middle of sex, saying he couldn’t continue. She was confused and hurt, pulling back from any affection at all.
The intervention was simple: talk to him. Tell him you’re not sure what to do with the affection piece now that sex has stopped. Ask him directly what he wants. She was startled — the idea of just asking hadn’t occurred to her. And as had happened before, when she talked to him, it went well. That tells me something about him that I try to hold onto even without his side of the story: he responds to her communication. That matters.
— what this case illustrates
My role here was not to tell her what to do. Not to tell her to leave, or to stay, or to forgive. People in her situation already face enormous pressure from others about what they’re supposed to do. My job was to help her understand the complexity of her own situation with clear eyes — to want what she wants, and to understand what that costs, what it gives her, and what it does to her — so that her choice is informed rather than automatic.
She wanted this relationship. I helped her want it with her eyes open.
There is also something worth naming for therapists reading this: infidelity cases require you to regulate yourself carefully. The protectiveness you feel for a client who has been repeatedly betrayed is real and human. But if it shapes how you respond — if you shame her choices or subtly punish her for going back — you’ve made yourself the problem. Sit on your hands. Notice the feeling. Keep going.
— what this work is
Infidelity therapy is not what most people expect
— why this matters
Infidelity is one of the most destabilizing experiences a couple can face — and one of the most complex to treat
Betrayal ruptures trust, distorts identity, and often reactivates old wounds — making it far more than a relationship problem. Therapists who work with infidelity need more than communication tools. They need a framework for the full psychological and sexual impact of what their clients are carrying.
This course gives you that framework — built from Dr. Westberg’s two decades of clinical experience helping couples navigate betrayal and rebuild their sexual and emotional lives.
— why it happens
Affairs rarely happen for the reasons people assume
01
Seeking Validation
A need to feel desirable, seen, or valued that isn’t being met within the primary relationship — often rooted in wounds that predated the partnership entirely.
02
Wanting to Feel Alive
Novelty, excitement, and aliveness that have quietly disappeared from a long-term relationship — and a desperate attempt to find them somewhere, anywhere.
03
Avoiding Emotional Pain
An escape from unresolved conflict, grief, resentment, or disconnection that neither partner has found a way to address directly within the relationship.
04
Cultural Expectations
Messages absorbed over a lifetime about gender, entitlement, sexuality, and what one deserves — operating beneath conscious awareness until they surface in behavior.
05
Sexual Frustration
Desire discrepancies, unexpressed needs, or sexual disconnection that accumulated over years without either partner finding language to address them directly.
06
Unmet Emotional Needs
Loneliness, invisibility, or emotional hunger within the relationship — needs that went unnamed for so long they eventually found expression in a form that caused enormous harm.
— the emotional impact
Betrayal trauma is real
The discovery of infidelity doesn’t just hurt — it reorganizes the world. Memories get reinterpreted. Safety disappears. The person you trusted most becomes a source of threat. This is betrayal trauma, and it deserves to be treated as such.
Both partners are affected. The betrayed partner carries hypervigilance, grief, and shattered trust. The partner who betrayed carries shame, guilt, and often their own version of loss. Effective therapy has to hold both.
— what you will learn
Skills you’ll walk away with
01
Recognize Betrayal Trauma
Identify how betrayal and sexual abuse present in clients and in the couple’s sexual relationship — before the client can name it themselves.
02
Set Appropriate Treatment Goals
Build treatment plans that account for the full complexity of betrayal — not just the relational rupture, but the sexual and identity-level damage underneath.
03
Avoid Re-Traumatization
Know which standard interventions backfire with betrayal clients — and how to adapt your approach to protect rather than destabilize.
04
Work With Identity and Worth
Address the identity-level damage that betrayal causes — and help clients rebuild a grounded, stable sense of self and sexual worth.
05
Manage Trauma Responses In-Session
Use specific interventions for clients who experience flashbacks, dissociation, or shutdown during sexual intimacy — in real time.
06
Support Genuine Healing
Move clients beyond survival and toward real recovery — using interventions that address the sexual, emotional, and relational dimensions of healing.
— the healing process
Five stages of working through betrayal
— your instructor
Hi, I’m Dr. Westberg.
I never planned to become a sex therapist. My path started with a question I couldn’t let go of: why do people create meaning through sex in ways that have nothing to do with the sex itself? That question led me to spend over two decades working with couples on the full range of sexual and relational issues.
What I found in clinical practice is that standard therapeutic approaches kept missing something. They focused on techniques and behaviors but never touched the emotional roots — the childhood wounds, attachment injuries, and relationship patterns that actually shape our sexual selves.
This course distills what I’ve learned working with couples like you. The desire gap you’re experiencing isn’t a mystery — it has a structure, it has causes, and it has a path through. I built this to give you that path.
— what therapists say
Reviews from course participants
★★★★★
“I genuinely enjoyed your approach and informative videos that really break down the different elements of sex therapy as someone only just getting started in the field of MFT.”
MFT Student
★★★★★
“Everything you said resonated so much! It was validating to hear another professional have similar views and approaches. I took a lot of notes and feel empowered continuing to work with my couples.”
Couples Therapist
★★★★★
“As a presenter, I felt you were very grounded, down to earth, knowledgeable and easy to watch — which says a lot! I really appreciate your humaneness.”
Workshop Attendee
— common questions
Frequently asked questions
Who is this course for?+
Licensed therapists who work with couples or individuals navigating infidelity, betrayal, or the sexual aftermath of relational trauma. No prior sex therapy specialization required.
Why does this course address sexual abuse alongside infidelity?+
Betrayal and infidelity frequently reactivate prior sexual trauma or carry their own traumatic weight. This course addresses both together because in clinical practice, they rarely present in isolation.
How is the course delivered?+
Self-paced video with structured practice techniques. Instant access after registration, no time limit on completion.
What CE approvals does this course carry?+
Approved by both AASECT and NBCC for 1 CE credit. A certificate is provided on completion for your records.
Is there a refund policy?+
30-day money-back guarantee. Contact us within 30 days of purchase for a full refund.
— ready to begin
Help your clients move through
betrayal and toward healing
Eight clinical modules, trauma-informed interventions you can use immediately, and 1 AASECT-approved CE credit — for therapists who want to go beyond the surface of what betrayal does to couples.
One-time payment
$39
REGISTER NOWThe complete training in
sex therapy — start to finish24 hours of video content, case studies, and selected readings. The clinical foundation most graduate programs never provide — built for therapists who are ready to treat sexuality with confidence.
