Couples Counseling New York, NY
Dr. Westberg
Dr. Westberg is a renowned specialist in couples counseling with over 20 years of experience helping couples strengthen their relationships and resolve complex issues. Previously a Professor in the Marriage, Couple, and Family Therapy Program at Lewis and Clark College, she developed and led the Sex Therapy Track, training future therapists in relational dynamics and clinical skills.
I work with couples facing a wide range of challenges, including relational conflict, communication breakdowns, desire discrepancies, infidelity, and performance issues. My goal is to help couples rebuild trust and intimacy, enhancing their connection through tailored and effective therapeutic approaches.
The Role of Couples Counseling in Building Strong Relationships
Couples counseling is vital for navigating the complexities of intimate relationships. Even strong partnerships can benefit from guidance when faced with challenges like communication issues, conflict, or mismatched desires. In counseling, we work together to enhance communication, build trust, and develop effective conflict resolution skills, while also exploring how past and present emotional wounds influence relational dynamics. Understanding these deeper layers helps couples heal and connect on a more profound level, leading to a healthier and more resilient relationship.
Conflict Resolution: Navigating Disagreements Constructively
Conflict is natural in relationships, but how you manage it matters. In couples counseling, we focus on constructive conflict resolution strategies to strengthen your bond rather than letting disagreements drive you apart.
- Active Listening: Understand your partner’s perspective by listening without interruption or judgment.
- Empathy and Validation: Acknowledge your partner’s feelings to diffuse tension and foster collaboration.
- Finding Common Ground: Focus on shared goals rather than differences to build a sense of partnership.
- Compromise and Flexibility: Be willing to adjust and meet each other halfway.
- Taking Breaks: Step back when conflicts escalate to cool down and approach discussions with a clearer mindset.
The Importance of Communication
Effective communication is the foundation of any successful relationship. In counseling, we explore how to connect on an emotional level, express needs clearly, and understand your partner deeply.
- Active Listening: Fully engage in conversations to understand not just the words but the emotions behind them.
- Nonverbal Communication: Pay attention to body language and tone, which are as crucial as spoken words.
- Clear and Honest Expression: Articulate your feelings and needs respectfully, without blame or judgment.
- Empathy and Understanding: Foster deeper connections by seeing things from your partner’s perspective.
- Emotional Regulation: Learn to manage emotions to maintain calm and effective communication during tough discussions.
- Avoiding Assumptions: Prevent misunderstandings by asking questions and clarifying instead of assuming.
Building Trust in Relationships
Trust is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. In counseling, we focus on building and rebuilding trust through consistent, honest behavior and open communication.
- Transparency and Honesty: Being truthful about both significant and everyday matters builds a strong foundation of trust.
- Consistent Behavior: Align your words with your actions to establish reliability.
- Accountability: Own your mistakes and make amends to prevent issues from eroding trust.
- Setting and Respecting Boundaries: Protect the relationship by honoring each other’s limits.
- Forgiveness and Healing: Work towards forgiveness and healing when trust has been broken.
- Emotional Safety: Create a secure environment where both partners can be vulnerable without fear of judgment.
Addressing Trauma and Its Impact on Relationships
Trauma—whether from past experiences of abuse or other relational wounds—can deeply affect a person’s capacity for pleasure and intimacy. In therapy, we work through these complex issues to help clients process their trauma and move forward in their relationships. This process includes emotional regulation techniques and reshaping personal narratives around self-worth, security, and value, allowing individuals to heal and build healthier connections.
Exploring Alternative Relationship Structures
Relationships today are diverse, with traditional monogamy being just one of many possible structures. Whether you’re exploring non-monogamy, polyamory, or other alternative relationship models, open and honest communication about boundaries, expectations, and desires is crucial. In therapy, we offer guidance to help you navigate these complex dynamics, ensuring that you maintain a strong, healthy, and fulfilling relationship.
Therapeutic Approaches for Couples
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
Developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, EFT is a structured approach to couples therapy that focuses on the emotional bonds between partners. The primary goal of EFT is to create secure attachment bonds by helping couples identify and express their underlying emotional needs. Through this process, couples can move away from negative patterns of interaction and towards more positive, supportive connections.
EFT is grounded in attachment theory, which posits that humans have an innate need for secure emotional bonds with significant others. In therapy, we work on identifying and addressing the emotional triggers that lead to conflict, fostering a deeper understanding and empathy between partners. EFT has been shown to be effective in reducing relationship distress, with studies indicating that approximately 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery, and 90% show significant improvements.
The Gottman Method
Created by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, this approach is based on extensive research into what makes relationships succeed or fail. The Gottman Method involves a thorough assessment of the couple’s relationship and integrates a range of interventions designed to improve communication, increase intimacy, and reduce conflict.
One of the key components of the Gottman Method is the “Sound Relationship House” theory, which outlines the building blocks of a strong relationship, such as trust, commitment, and emotional connection. The therapy sessions often focus on enhancing the couple’s “love maps” (an understanding of each other’s worlds), fostering fondness and admiration, and turning towards each other instead of away during conflicts. The Gottman Method is particularly effective for couples dealing with high levels of conflict or those seeking to strengthen their relationship in the long term.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Couples
CBT is a well-established therapeutic approach that focuses on changing negative thought patterns and behaviors. When applied to couples, CBT helps partners recognize and alter cognitive distortions that lead to relationship problems. This approach is particularly effective in addressing issues like communication problems, conflict resolution, and negative interaction patterns.
In couples therapy, CBT may involve exercises such as identifying and challenging negative thoughts about one’s partner, learning new communication skills, and practicing positive behaviors that enhance the relationship. By focusing on concrete changes in thinking and behavior, CBT helps couples develop healthier patterns of interaction.
Imago Relationship Therapy
Imago Therapy, developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, focuses on helping couples understand the unconscious dynamics that influence their relationship. The therapy posits that our early childhood experiences shape our expectations and behaviors in adult relationships. In therapy, couples explore these influences to better understand their own needs and their partner’s needs.
A central technique in Imago Therapy is the “Imago Dialogue,” a structured conversation that allows partners to communicate more effectively by mirroring, validating, and empathizing with each other’s feelings. This process helps couples move from blame and criticism to understanding and connection, fostering deeper intimacy and healing.
Narrative Therapy
Narrative Therapy is a therapeutic approach that focuses on the stories we tell ourselves about our lives and relationships. In couples counseling, Narrative Therapy helps partners reframe the narratives they hold about their relationship, moving from negative, problem-focused stories to more empowering and positive ones.
By externalizing problems (viewing the problem as something outside of the relationship rather than as a characteristic of the individuals), couples can work together to address issues without blaming each other. This approach encourages partners to create new, positive narratives that support growth and change in the relationship.
These therapeutic approaches provide a structured framework for couples to explore their challenges, improve their relationship dynamics, and build a more fulfilling and resilient partnership. By incorporating these evidence-based methods into couples counseling, we can tailor the therapy to meet the unique needs of each couple, ensuring a comprehensive and effective approach to relationship healing and growth.
Understanding Sex Therapy and Its Benefits
Sex therapy is a specialized type of counseling that focuses on addressing a wide range of sexual health concerns, both emotional and physical. It’s not just for those experiencing sexual dysfunction—anyone looking to improve their sexual relationship and intimacy can benefit. Whether you’re facing challenges like infidelity, desire discrepancies, or difficulties with orgasm, sex therapy offers a supportive environment to explore and work through these issues.
With over 20 years of experience, I have supported individuals and couples in resolving diverse sexual health concerns. My approach combines empathy, evidence-based practices, and a dedication to creating a shame-free space for healthy sexual relationships. As a certified professional through AASECT and the American Board of Sexology, I focus on helping clients achieve their sexual and relational goals through personalized, compassionate care.
Other Services
How To Choose A Couple's Therapist In New York, NY
- Training and Specialization: Look for a therapist with specific training in couples therapy who understands relational dynamics.
- Experience with Relational Trauma: Ensure the therapist is equipped to handle relational trauma, which can deeply affect your partnership.
- Approach to Communication Issues: A strong focus on improving communication is essential for overcoming relationship struggles.
- Handling Intimacy and Desire Discrepancies: Seek a therapist skilled in navigating differences in intimacy needs.
- Conflict Resolution Skills: Choose a therapist who can teach you constructive conflict management techniques.
- Comfort with Diverse Relationships: Ensure your therapist is experienced with various relationship structures, including LGBTQ+ and non-traditional dynamics.
- Therapeutic Style: Ensure their approach aligns with your needs, whether it’s structured, exploratory, or solution-focused.
- Success with Long-Term Issues: Look for a therapist with a track record of helping couples with long-standing problems.
- Personal Connection: Feeling comfortable and understood by your therapist is crucial for effective therapy.
Unique Date Ideas in NYC
Dr. Westberg
garciawestbergny@gmail.com
(914) 928-8608