— interventions

Best sex therapy books to promote healing

Making this list took a while — but I feel like I’ve created a treasure chest. These are my favorite books of all time. Some aren’t about sex therapy directly, but they all have everything to do with understanding your sexual relationships and your relationship with yourself.

Dr. Westberg

Marisol G. Westberg, Ph.D., LMFT

Sex therapist & educator

Relationships

The question of why sexual desire is often higher in youth ties back to hormonal surges that can overshadow insecurities or physical discomforts. Additionally, the novelty and excitement from new relationships, frequent partner changes, and less frequent encounters contribute to heightened desire. Younger individuals typically face fewer life pressures, such as cohabitation, work stress, or parenting responsibilities, which can otherwise dampen sexual desire. Ultimately, sexual desire peaks at an age where one feels secure, harmonious, excited, and fulfilled, suggesting that emotional and situational factors play a significant role.

Sexual desire and arousal differ significantly; desire is a mental interest in sex, while arousal is the body’s physical reaction to sexual stimuli. It’s crucial to recognize that physical signs of arousal do not necessarily indicate a genuine desire for sex. This distinction is particularly important in understanding that someone’s body might react to touch without it meaning they consent to or desire that interaction.

If your body is undergoing change of any kind, your sexual desire is up for grabs because for many people their sexual desire is affected by changes in their environment and in their bodies.  The more important issue is that we have to begin to understand this as normal and okay.  Instead we feel slighted and angry because things have changed.

“Why Life Stress Lowers Libido”

Yes, but find a therapist that is an expert in couple’s therapeutic techniques as well as sexuality.

Flibanserin, or Addyi, aims to boost sexual desire in premenopausal women by altering brain chemistry. It’s specifically designed for premenopausal women and has notable side effects like dizziness and nausea. The effectiveness of this medication is debated, particularly considering its modest benefits. Critically, it’s argued that focusing on medication might overlook the broader relational or societal influences on women’s sexual desire, potentially reinforcing stigmas around sexual health issues by framing them as individual problems rather than broader concerns that might not always require medical intervention.

Check out The 11 Myths About Sexual Desire but the answer is yes and no.

Yes, many men’s libido is affected by contextual factors such as stress and conflict.  Also, feeling incompetent sexually seems to be a major cause of low sexual desire in men.  

Yes for some people, but it doesn’t need to stop there.  Sexual desire is affected by many things but that doesn’t mean you won’t ever want sex again.  What’s important is to talk about it and understand what your desire needs to open up.

— ready to go deeper?

Books are a great start.
Therapy takes it further.

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