— interventions
Best sex therapy books to promote healing
Making this list took a while — but I feel like I’ve created a treasure chest. These are my favorite books of all time. Some aren’t about sex therapy directly, but they all have everything to do with understanding your sexual relationships and your relationship with yourself.
Marisol G. Westberg, Ph.D., LMFT
Sex therapist & educator
Sexual Desire
Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life
If you are having issues with mismatched desires or frustration regarding your partner's lack of desire, this is a must-read.
Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic & the Domestic
This book will show you how to create more desire for your partner by creating more distance.
Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex
A deeply personal and illuminating exploration of asexuality and the spectrum of desire.
“This book has been so meaningful to me and has given me the words to describe my experience so much more eloquently than I could myself.”
Relationships
What is the peak age for sexual desire?
The question of why sexual desire is often higher in youth ties back to hormonal surges that can overshadow insecurities or physical discomforts. Additionally, the novelty and excitement from new relationships, frequent partner changes, and less frequent encounters contribute to heightened desire. Younger individuals typically face fewer life pressures, such as cohabitation, work stress, or parenting responsibilities, which can otherwise dampen sexual desire. Ultimately, sexual desire peaks at an age where one feels secure, harmonious, excited, and fulfilled, suggesting that emotional and situational factors play a significant role.
What is the difference between sexual desire and sexual arousal?
Sexual desire and arousal differ significantly; desire is a mental interest in sex, while arousal is the body’s physical reaction to sexual stimuli. It’s crucial to recognize that physical signs of arousal do not necessarily indicate a genuine desire for sex. This distinction is particularly important in understanding that someone’s body might react to touch without it meaning they consent to or desire that interaction.
How do medications, stress, anxiety, and depression influence libido?
If your body is undergoing change of any kind, your sexual desire is up for grabs because for many people their sexual desire is affected by changes in their environment and in their bodies. The more important issue is that we have to begin to understand this as normal and okay. Instead we feel slighted and angry because things have changed.
“Why Life Stress Lowers Libido”
How do you manage mismatched desires?
Watch this video on the Step-by-Step Process To Increasing Sexual Desire.
Should I see a therapist or couple’s counselor to treat sexual dissatisfaction?
Yes, but find a therapist that is an expert in couple’s therapeutic techniques as well as sexuality.
What is flibanserin and does it work?
Flibanserin, or Addyi, aims to boost sexual desire in premenopausal women by altering brain chemistry. It’s specifically designed for premenopausal women and has notable side effects like dizziness and nausea. The effectiveness of this medication is debated, particularly considering its modest benefits. Critically, it’s argued that focusing on medication might overlook the broader relational or societal influences on women’s sexual desire, potentially reinforcing stigmas around sexual health issues by framing them as individual problems rather than broader concerns that might not always require medical intervention.
Why doesn't my partner want to be intimate with me?
Check out this article on the Top 10 Reasons Your partner Doesn’t Want To Have Sex With You.
Does sexual desire decrease with age?
Check out The 11 Myths About Sexual Desire but the answer is yes and no.
Do men experience low libido?
Yes, many men’s libido is affected by contextual factors such as stress and conflict. Also, feeling incompetent sexually seems to be a major cause of low sexual desire in men.
Do medications affect sexual desire
Yes for some people, but it doesn’t need to stop there. Sexual desire is affected by many things but that doesn’t mean you won’t ever want sex again. What’s important is to talk about it and understand what your desire needs to open up.
— ready to go deeper?
Books are a great start.
Therapy takes it further.
If you are ready to work through these issues with professional support, book a session below.
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