What Is Sex Therapy? Benefits, Techniques
Misconceptions About Sex Therapy
It is only about sex
Sex therapy delves into more than just sex, focusing on the deeper issues that affect sexual satisfaction.
It is only for couples
Sex therapy is not limited to couples; significant progress can be made in individual sessions. It addresses both personal and relational aspects of sexual issues.
It is about doing sensate focused exercises
Sex therapy should address sexual acts but it is more effective when it goes beyond that.
It will force you to have sex.
Again, this is about what you want. Not having sex is a perfectly fine solution in sex therapy. However, if you are in a partnership this may be a deal breaker.
Effective Sex Therapy
Effective sex therapy combines understanding emotional triggers and coping mechanisms with exploring the quality of relationships with oneself and others. This holistic approach addresses a wide range of issues affecting sexual satisfaction, ensuring comprehensive treatment.
Sex Therapy Vs. Regular Therapy
Sex therapy is different from regular couple’s therapy because it addresses the sexual issues head-on but uses couple’s therapy modalities to address relational issues affecting the sexual relationship.
What to Expect
Sex therapy resembles couples or relational therapy with a specific emphasis on sexual issues. It involves discussing concerns with a therapist who provides guidance on understanding and addressing specific problems using approaches similar to those in couples therapy. Additionally, tailored interventions focus directly on enhancing the sexual relationship.
Common Issues
After over 20 years of experience, these are the common issues that show up to my therapy practice.
Desire Discrepancy
Performance Anxiety
Infidelity
Sexual Compulsion or Obsession
Non-Monogamy
Pain During Sex
Anorgasmia
Sexual Trauma
Does Sex Therapy Work?
Healing Sexual Issues
Sex therapy is particularly effective in treating performance issues, low libido, and difficulties with orgasms.
Improving Sexual Communication
Discussing sexual matters can be challenging. Sex therapy aims to facilitate easier conversations, with the understanding that better communication can significantly enhance the quality of a sexual relationship.
Enhancing Sexual Confidence
Sexual confidence is crucial as it enhances attractiveness and is a key component of sexual desire
Healing From Sexual Trauma
Sex therapy aims to enhance understanding of sexual trauma and offer healing strategies.
Couple's Relationship Satisfaction
Relationship satisfaction has been shown to increase via sex therapy.
Approaches I Use In My Practice
Acceptance & Commitment Therapy
Psychodynamic Couples Therapy
Attachment-Based Therapy
Polyvagal Theory & Somatic Therapy
Emotionally Focused Therapy
Internal Family Systems Therapy
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Trauma Therapy
Informed by Queer Theory, Transformative Justice, Feminist and Intersectionality
Trans-Affirming Care; Informed Consent Model (WPATH and ICATH considerations)
Gottman Informed Couples Counseling
Wheel of Consent (Betty Martin)
Dialectical Behavior Therapy
Dominant Social Discourses And Sex Therapy
Society often imposes unrealistic expectations on sex, leading to shame and distress. Common beliefs include the notion that sex should be spontaneous, desire constant and strong, and sexual activity primarily penetrative and orgasmic. Such expectations can cause personal and relational wounds, especially when individuals feel they don’t meet these standards. Understanding that sexual desire varies and can be responsive rather than spontaneous, and acknowledging that fulfilling sex isn’t solely about penetration or matching libidos, can help individuals and couples navigate these pressures towards healthier sexual relationships.
Going Solo In Sex Therapy
Solo therapy can effectively address sexual issues, offering a private space for individuals to explore sexual beliefs, desires, and past traumas without fear of judgment. It allows for personal growth, confidence in one’s sexual identity, and the processing of emotional wounds, contributing to healthier relationships. Whether single, dating, or in a relationship, solo therapy provides a tailored approach to healing and self-discovery, emphasizing the importance of individual well-being in sexual satisfaction.