— for couples Sex Therapy Exercises for Couples Practical exercises drawn from clinical sex therapy practice — designed to reduce pressure, rebuild connection, and help you understand each other more deeply. These exercises come directly from my clinical practice, from the frameworks I use with couples, and from the course I created for couples experiencing […]
— sex therapy exercises Understanding your wounding Feelings are functional — they tell us about our world. But when there is wounding, feelings become irrational and no longer accurately represent reality. This exercise helps you trace the feeling back to its root. ← Back to all exercises — why this is hard We understand feelings […]
— sex therapy exercises Using “I” statements Practicing open, honest communication is sometimes trickier than it seems — especially when we are dealing with conflict or feeling blamed. “I” statements are a straightforward way to communicate how you feel while owning your emotions and describing the situation as you experience it. ← Back to all […]
— sex therapy exercises Changing expectations Most couples carry unexamined assumptions about what sex should look like. This exercise helps you surface those assumptions, replace them with something you have actually agreed on, and build a shared sexual framework that works for both of you. ← Back to all exercises — step one · do […]
— sex therapy exercises Flirting favorites Flirting is just someone saying, “I like you.” There are countless ways to communicate that — and most couples have never actually told each other which ones land. This exercise fixes that. ← Back to all exercises — part one · do this individually first What are your favorite […]
— sex therapy exercises What did you do at the beginning? Responsive desire opens up with connection, fun, playfulness, and effort — the same things you naturally did when you were first trying to attract this person. This exercise asks whether you are still doing them. ← Back to all exercises — read this first […]
— sex therapy exercises What input do you want? This exercise temporarily removes the pressure to have sex — not as a permanent solution, but as a way to create the space and freedom to figure out what you actually want. It replaces a broken dynamic with something you have both explicitly agreed to. ← […]
— sex therapy exercises Holding your partner’s feelings If you are going to share your wounds from the previous exercises, you need to feel safe. This is how you create that safety — not by fixing or problem-solving, but by learning to hold your partner’s feeling as real, even when it seems irrational. ← Back […]
— sex therapy exercises How do you cope with distress? Coping behaviors help us move away from distressing feelings — but avoiding, numbing, or running from feelings can actually make them more intense. And numbing does not allow healing. This exercise helps you identify what you are doing instead of feeling. ← Back to all […]
— interventions Best sex therapy books to promote healing Making this list took a while — but I feel like I’ve created a treasure chest. These are my favorite books of all time. Some aren’t about sex therapy directly, but they all have everything to do with understanding your sexual relationships and your relationship with […]